Why Is French So Liberal With The Alphabet?

    Categories: Humor

    We’ve established how the alphabet works, so now it’s time to look into exactly why French seems to ignore its own spellings. And to be fair, while the French adherence to alphabetical “rules” is loose, it’s probably not any worse than English. One thing French has that English doesn’t is the Académie française, which is an institution that conserves the French language and keeps it from changing as much as it would naturally. But in spite of that, English and French have similar reasons for why their pronunciation is tough for second language learners.

    The biggest reason for unpronounced letters is that, at one time, the letters were pronounced. Spelling tends to reflect the language as it was spoken when the language was standardized, rather than how it’s pronounced today. French spelling went through various phases of reformation — no language stays still forever — but some words can trace their spelling back nearly 1,000 years.

    One such change is that the last syllable of French words were pronounced less and less historically, which is why today, you often don’t pronounce the last letters in French words. A similar thing happened in English; the silent “e” at the end of words used to actually be pronounced. It’s only because spelling doesn’t evolve together with French speaking that the mismatch occurs.

    Another contributor to alphabetical weirdness is “etymological spelling.” Sometimes, a word will reflect the language it comes from, even if it was never actually pronounced that way. The French word paix never pronounced the “x,” but the “x” is still there to reflect the Latin word it comes from: pax

    Again, these factors aren’t that unusual for any language. English has just as many quirks for similar reasons; it just manifests in different ways. And if you’re raised speaking a language, you tend not to notice how aggravating the language can be to non-native speakers.

    Why the Trees Lose Their Leaves

    Categories: Humor

    ​In the early times, the trees and animals were always able to talk to one another. They lived
    close to each other and shared many things; but every year, the cold time came and the birds
    would fly south to where it remained warm and would return with their families in the spring,
    when the warm season returned.

    One year, as the cold season approached Sparrow was injured. He would not be strong
    enough to fly to the warm lands with his family by himself, so he made his family fly south to
    the warm lands without him.

    Injured, he knew he would not survive the cold season. So, he sought the help of the trees. He
    approached Oak. “Oh, Oak, I am injured, and cannot fly, the cold season approaches, and if I
    do not find shelter before then, surely, I shall die. Please, Oak, let me shelter among your
    leaves and branches during the cold times, that I may heal and greet my family on their return
    in the spring.”

    But Oak was a crusty old tree, and did not relish the idea of having a guest in the cold time, so
    he told sparrow: “Sparrow, go find somewhere else to spend the cold time. I do not wish you
    to spend the cold time with me.”

    And poor Sparrow was hurt in his spirit to be turned away.

    So, Sparrow went to Maple and asked her. “Maple, I am hurt and not able to fly to the warm
    lands with my family for the cold season. Please let me shelter among your leaves and
    branches during the cold time, or surely, I will perish.


    And Maple, though a very sweet tree, did not enjoy the thought of a guest for the cold time and she too, turned Sparrow away. “you … you go ask someone else to shelter you, Sparrow. I do not wish you to spend the cold, time with me.”

    And again, hurt in spirit, Sparrow was turned away.

    Sparrow went in turn to each of the trees and asked each for shelter in the cold time; and
    each, and every time, Sparrow was turned away until there was no tree left to ask, except Pine.

    With no hope left …, but not willing to accept death …., Sparrow approached Pine.


    “Pine, I am injured, and not able to fly south to the warm lands with my family. If I do not find
    shelter before the cold time, I will surely perish. Please…., let me shelter among your leaves
    and branches during the cold time … ” Pine thought to himself, (“I am the least of the trees,
    what can I do?”) but his heart heard Sparrow’s plight. “Sparrow … My leaves are tiny …
    more like needles my branches are not as many as other trees … but what I have you are
    welcome to share.”

    And so, Sparrow spent the cold time with Pine. And when the warm times returned in the
    spring, Sparrow’s family returned also. And Sparrow had healed over the cold time and flew to
    greet their return.

    Creator had seen and heard all that had happened between Sparrow and the Trees. And
    Creator called a great council of the Trees and spoke to them …, “You, who were given so
    much, who had so much, would not share the least of what you had with Sparrow in his
    need. Because of this …, from this day forward, when the cold time is upon the land, your
    leaves shall wither and die and blow away.”

    Creator then spoke to Pine. “Pine, you, who had the least of all the trees, gave so much, have
    touched my Spirit. When the cold times come, you of all the trees shall keep your leaves they
    shall remain green through all the seasons for the gift you have given me, through Sparrow.
    And that is why, to this day, that when the cold time comes to the land, AII the leaves wither,
    and die and blow away …. Except for Pine.

    Courtesy of Northern Cherokee Nation

    How to be an old man

    Categories: Humor

    Since I am an “old-ish” man in my 70s I’d like to share some pointers on how to be an old man “that doesn’t look and act like an old man”.

    • First of all keep you mouth shut. There is nothing that looks more senile, elderly, and doddery than walking around with you mouth huge open.
    • Stay clean. There are myths around, and my father may have starting this one, that says as you get older you shouldn’t bathe as often. Please disregard. Shower or bathe every day. Wash your hair every day. Wash off the Ben-Gay every day. Clean close are a must. Wrinkle from clean clothes.
    • Practice eating in front of a mirror. As you age there is a tendency to scarf your food. Maybe it’s last meal syndrome or just hunger, but make sure you maintain you eating etiquette and don’t eat like your feeding from a trough.
    • No sandals. I know this is probably a deal breaker for those of you in Oregon and Washington, (and Subaru drivers)“, but sandals, Teva-style, leather, no way! They really don’t look good on anyone, but old gnarly feet scream, “Sneakers, please!”

    More to follow!

    Dad Jokes

    Categories: Humor

    My wife told me she wanted some peace and quiet in the kitchen while she was cooking.

    So I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm.


    Whoever said, “everything happens for a reason”, never had a cow step on their foot.

    -Anonymous


    Knock, know!

    “Who’s there?”

    “The love of your life!”
    “Dark chocolate who?”

    Aphorisms

    Categories: Humor

    Raised in the south, my minds was filled with pithy little sayings my mother used. She seemed to have one for every occasion or incident.
    I’m trying to remember as many as I can. I’ll add them as I remember them.

    I killed a bahr(bear), but Paw shot it.
    Take credit for someone else’s accomplishment

    Just because his mouth opens and shuts don’t make it a prayer book.
    Don’t believe everything you hear. Prayer book being a bible.

    Tight as Dick’s hat band.
    Cheap or cheapskate

    Can’t throw out dishwater for them.
    Too frequent a guest, such as a relative or neighbor. Or, someone you enjoy seeing a bunch as a show of pleasure.

    Goat shower.
    A light rain, just enough to get a goat wet and make it stink.

    Root hog or die.
    Get off your ass and do something!

    Grandma’s slow, but she’s old.
    Self-explanatory really. You have excuse for being slow and lazy.

    You’re (he/she is) in high cotton!
    Refers to a bountiful cotton crop, large cotton balls, and easy to pick. Good fortune is shining on you whether deserved or not.

    You can’t make a silk purse out of a pig’s ear.
    In broad terms, a person with no class or cooth that is putting on aires.

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